Kerching...

According to a lot of ridiculous assumptions and dodgy mathematics, my blog is worth $63,793.02.

(I'm willing to accept lower offers)

Do you want to generate some cheap content for your oh-so-pricy blog, too? Then go and find out how much your blog is worth.

Repeat ad nauseum

I'm particularly disliking Radio 1 at the moment, because every day this song brings me very close to breaking point:

#Can I have it like that?
#You got it like that.
#Can I have it like that?
#...you got it like that...
#Can I have it like that?
#Yes. I thought we'd been through-
#Can I have it like that?
#...you've already got it.. I just said-
#Can I have it like that?
#.. you can have it any way you want if you'll just shut the f up...
#Can I have it like that?
#Why are you tormenting me so?
#Can I have it like that?
#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGH...

Willing the return of Dark Season

So Russell T Davies is creating a Dr Who spin off featuring John Barrowman. At first I had visions of an embarrassingly camp romp through space, but then it was pointed out to me that Russell T Davies simply cannot fail to write compelling drama. How true, thought I, and rooting through good old IMDB I rediscovered Dark Season: my number 1 sinister kid's TV programme of all time (much better than The Girl From Tomorrow).

It was one of the weirdest programmes ever beamed from the broom cupboard, involving kids getting their minds warped by pre-historic laptop computers, and then some mad old bat unearthing a giant metal 'computer' underneath the school. It had everything! Nutty woman happily trapped in a machine! Massive blonde electric-shock haircuts! Kate effing Winslet!! You don't get kid's TV like that these days, oh no. It's all po dipsy la la dick n' dom fimbletubby bungalow claptrap, and I should know as I have just spent four years being a student layabout.

The Beeb even think its greatness might've transcended the Atlantic, citing possible influences on Buffy's creator Joss Whedon:

"Could Joss Whedon have been inspired by Dark Season when he was coming up for idea for Buffy? The whole plot about a school hiding ancient secrets beneath its foundations and an awesome Behemoth rising from its tomb, is very similar to Buffy and its Hellmouth beneath Sunnydale High. Could Marcie, Reet and Thom be a prototype for Buffy and the Scooby Gang?"

So imagine my horror to discover that Dark Season never even made it onto VHS! I need to see this series again in its entirety! Join me on my campaign to have this wonderous show re-aired or released to us, the adoring geek-public. Or y'know, just ignore this little rant from my 8-year-old self entirely...

Waste not want not

Now I've discovered freecycle.org, I may never go to a normal shop ever again. Some of the items that people offer are amazing:

• Garden gate,black wrought iron
• 2 large art deco style arm chairs
• about 2 cases of clothes from the 1970s plus assorted fabrics
• Surbiton (though I think this may have been a misunderstanding of how the list worked)

If you've not come across it, check it out...

Waxing lyrical about silence

You know that phrase, 'burning the candle at both ends'? Well it doesn't make sense, does it. Candles have to be the right way up, because everyone knows that fire defies gravity and doesn't like being upside down. And even if it did, there'd be hot wax everywhere, which would just be messy and foolish. See? Fire knows best.

So anyway. Where am I going with this? Oh yes. I haven't been burning the candle at both ends. But. I have developed a one-to-many (and indeed, one too many) relationship with alcohol, which was disabled my ability to refuse a second (or eleventh) drink. It's all been about excesses in good company, rah rah film previews (ok, so there was only one, but I want to boast, despite the awfulness of the film), getting limbs caught in night bus doors (classy), random swedish ladies called Freda (who called me a Welsh rabbit), innocent smoothies as a substitute for proper nourishment... and... well... my body has responded accordingly.

I have an ulcer. No, not a stomach ulcer, it's not got THAT bad yet. It is a mouth ulcer. No ordinary mouth ulcer, it's a BIG ulcer, protuding from one side at the back of my tongue (making it look like a mitten for people with half-sized thumbs). It is stopping me from eating, drinking, swallowing and now talking. No more socialising for me this weekend, then. HSBC says no. Body says no. Simon says... well, nothing, because it hurts too much.

Humph.

Silver lining: until today I hadn't gargled the Neighbours theme tune since I was about 7, when my sister and I used to try and do it without spitting all over the floor. Awesome.

It's been a while

1349 posts, 2901 comments, 3 different URLs, 3 different locations (Wrexham, Guildford, London), 14 redesigns, over 1000 images, 190,000 unique visits... and so much besides.

This weblog is 5 years old today, and it's only just struck me quite how different my life would be if I'd never started it in the first place. I wouldn't be in my current job, I would never have met an unreasonable number of lovely folk, and so much other inexplicable stuff besides.

Here's to five more years of nonsense.