On visualisations of website traffic...

I'm looking for some tools which would enable me to create visual representations of websites - a little like this one of minor9th.com, made with htmlgraph, but where each node represents a page within the site, and where it's also possible to attach visitor numbers to the pages in question and display the nodes proportionally.

I was also thinking along the lines of relative-size world maps (which are fascinating in themselves), but applying the principle to sitemaps.

Does anyone know any tools out there which do something along these lines already?

Five things most people don't know about me

I was tagged for this meme a while ago by Meg and have spent the intervening weeks struggling to think of noteworthy quirky facts about myself. There aren't many. But I tried.

1. 

   I have a forked uvula

   A rather strange trait that my sister and I share is our strange bifid uvula: that is, the dangly bit at the back of our throat splits in two. Apparently it can be associated with submucous cleft palate, but it's not a big deal and doesn't mean we're freaks.

2. Gabriel Yared once asked me to get naked with him in front of a 50-strong audience

   That's right: he composed the music for Betty Blue, The English Patient and Cold Mountain and then, one day in March 2005, he asked me to join him in disrobing before a group of surprised University students. I should point out that he was using it as an endearing turn of phrase, and what he actually wanted was a nice bit of musical deconstruction, not a spell of piano-top fornication. Just as well - his beard is pretty terrifying.

3. In 1990, I asked a serious question about diarrhoea in front of 200 people

   Poor 7-year-old me. I'd just had my first experience of horrendous fizzy gravy. A week or two later, at a school assembly about fire alarm procedure, I thought it only prudent to ask the headmaster - in front of the entire school and staff - what to do in a fire emergency if you're stuck on the loo. Minutes of laughter and years of name-calling ensued. And, ironically, a fire. But my bowels were behaving themselves that day. Phew.

4. I failed my cycling proficiency test

   Evil thing. I failed this because I was crap at cycling slowly and couldn't control my bike without falling off or having to put a foot down. I now have a slightly loathing of cyclists.

5. Our school band played for the Queen and her hubby

   Somehow, Wrexham managed to bag the Queen to open a revamped leisure centre in the middle of the town (with a rather distinctive roof structure). In a slight talent mismatch, they also asked our school wind band to play at the event. Clearly we got rained on and nearly froze to death, and Duke made some innuendo small talk about fingers and clarinet holes. A day to remember. Or not.

And five more people to do this: Vic, Will, Kat, Mary, and Dan.

Future of Web Design

Subject to getting the time off work approved, I'm going to be attending the first European Future of Web Design conference on April 18th. Some pretty interesting people will be sharing pearls of webby wisdom. A rethink of this shabby old blog thing may follow.

Anyone else planning on going?

Face of tomorrow

A couple of years ago I went to an exhibition at the Science Museum in London called Future Face, which explored ideas of facial identity, reconstruction, and perhaps most enticingly: what makes a face attractive?

One of the most striking exhibits consisted of a set of photos of normal people from Swindon (of all places) which had been superimposed and averaged out, to create two final pictures - an average man and an average girl. I was transfixed by both.

With the help of a nimble search fiend at work, I found the artist's site so have a look - check out cities from across the world and, given that the project is open source, contribute.

On the gramophone in 2006...

According to last.fm, these were the artists I listened to most during 2006:

1. Guillemots
2. IndieFeed.com community
3. Zero 7
4. Death Cab for Cutie
5. Thom Yorke
6. The Go! Team
7. The Feeling
8. Madonna
9. Stereolab
10. Joni Mitchell
11. Delays
12. Bloc Party
13. Scissor Sisters
14. Imogen Heap
15. The Rakes
16. The Beatles
17. Bonobo
18. The Cure
19. Kate Bush
20. Radiohead

Quite surprised Bloc Party are so high, especially given that I was convinced I hated them until about December when I realised I'd been mixing them up with the terminally whiny and harmonically challenged Interpol.

Otherwise I'd say it's pretty accurate and I'm not too ashamed of any of the entries...

Who would've thought, it figures

Poor Alanis Morissette, she doesn't half get some stick for her lack of irony - which you no doubt pitied her for when she released Ironic in 1996. Perhaps one day she'll rectify her error by getting her chops around these alternative, actually-ironic lyrics.

Related: another Alanis take-off starts off the snippets track from Fitness To Practice

Moving on up...

The more grown-up member of our little Ealing cohort is about to move in with her other half to a love nest on the other side of the city. This means we're looking for a housemate, and given that we've decided to advertise I need a bit of advice.

Which websites have people found good / bad / dodgy / surprising / reliable when searching for sane, interesting and agreeable people to move in with? I've always moved with friends so have no experience of the various random houseshare sites. Any advice gratefully received.

On Pan's Labyrinth...

I'm still reeling from the involving and painful experience that was Pan's Labyrinth - certificate 15, but given that I walked home with a quivering bottom lip I personally feel it should've been nearer a 36.

I guess innocent child-like fantasy escapism from grotesque and graphic horror isn't exactly a new idea, but here it's completely affecting. I strongly recommend it, but only in the same way that I'd recommend that other film that left recently left me a jibbering wreck, Requiem for a Dream: watch it and plan to do something wholly comforting immediately afterwards.

Ten years on...

Got those New Term blues? Never mind - there's 80 minutes of gritty nineties throwback to look forward to on Tuesday evening as it's finally time for This Life - Ten Years On.

We'll be watching it with Soave in Anna's honour.