No Funciona
November 9, 2006Whilst faithfully fulfilling my geek-boy duty to download the beta of Vista (bloaty, jerky, blurry – my computer scored a lowly 2 out of 5 on performance), I accidentally signed up to a bloody Microsoft newsletter which has since gone unread for months and months.
So, armed with a comforting mug of tea, I decide to click on the unsubscribe link in the email. The resulting page is plastered with smug, nondescript IT professionals and has a somewhat hidden link to ‘Manage my subscriptions’. I’ve seen this sneaky sort of thing before: I’m not afraid. Then I have to sign in. I’ve forgotten my password, so request a new one. I get a silly screen of twisty letters. Enter them as best I can, but get it wrong. Four times. My tea’s getting cold. I give up.
Decide to think about buying a MacBook to shun Microsoft once and for all. That’ll learn them! Manage my defection, suckers! Then I remember that they keep melting, and that OSX has the world’s dumbest lock-out/log-out mechanism, and that iTunes 7 is unusable on my humble XP machine because of Quicktime’s mysterious playback engine.
Briefly consider moving to Unix for good. Decide that a life spent recompiling the kernel – if not the WHOLE WORLD – to get a basic driver to work is not the life for me.
Sometimes this whole computer malarkey is all a bit faffy and annoying, isn’t it? Goddamn it I’m going to go and live in a hut on the side of a Welsh mountain somewhere with only a kettle and a teaspoon for company.
(And maybe once a week the person from Tesco online delivery… Oh man!)
























